By Randall L. Broad
Liberty Corpus is a
collection of the discussion boards, research papers, and other writings
compiled while studying systematic theology at Liberty University Online. The
posts published here have been further researched, edited, and redacted from
their original assignments.
Below is something I wrote for one of my
classes at Liberty that I felt was worth sharing...
Recovery Testimony
My life never was normal. As a child, I was abnormally shy and
bookish. I never had many close friends even though I grew up in a neighborhood
with many large families. I was on friendly terms with all of them, but
preferred the company of a good book over that of other kids. At seventeen I
went into the Army and began studying martial arts. Throughout my adult life
martial arts would become the passion that would drive my life forward. It was
an addiction really that affected every other area people would have considered
normal. I worked only enough to pay my bills. I quit jobs when they interfered
in my training. I avoided commitment to any relationship outside of the school.
Marriage was not even on my mind-but I had no qualms about adulterous
activities provided there were no attachments. I used drugs and alcohol when
they did not interfere with training. Essentially I twisted the benefits and
practice of martial arts into a false religion that justified my selfishness
and pride.
I discovered hope and help in Jesus after I was overcome by Godly sorrow and divine
heaviness. No matter how hard I trained; no matter how hard I worked; I was always
empty inside. In 1997, I gave my life to Christ but never followed through on
my promise to Him. Finally in 2000, for reasons I cannot explain I loaded my
backpack into my truck and found myself in the Great Smoky Mountains. Alone I
walked off into the wilderness toward Clingman’s Dome, the second highest peak
in the Eastern United States. Just past Mount Collins on a lonely stretch of
trail that climbs over boulders and roots, I stopped to rest. The mountain was
particularly quiet because it was early spring and the road to Clingman’s Dome
was not open yet. There was only one way to get where I was at and that was a
long walk down a lonely trail. To make things more ominous, a powerful
thunderstorm was moving across the top of the mountain where I sat.
I can recall looking over the mountains
spread out around me for miles. I felt the weight of my burdens on my back. For
on this journey, I was a stupid hiker with bad equipment and too many useless
things in my pack. I remember thinking to myself how symbolic that was of my
entire life. I wept. It was raining in the valleys below, but on the mountain I
was sitting in the mist of the low hanging clouds. I could feel the static
electricity from the air burning my skin and steam was rising from my uncovered
flesh. A still tiny voice came to me just as I imagine now Elijah heard on
Mount Horeb in First Kings (19:11-13). To this day, I do not know if it was the
voice of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or just my own conscience, but I know it
truly called me to Jesus as I had never been called before. I felt my spirit
renewing itself. As my strength and hope grew, I lifted my burdens and myself
up and began walking again. As I walked it began to rain harder and I knew I was being baptized by God Himself.
I am glad I have a personal relationship with Jesus today because when I think back to that experience on the mountain I realize what a crucial moment it was in my life. After I returned from the mountain, I began to lay down the burdens that had hindered me for so long. My worldview and my expectations began to change. I returned to the mountains often in the years that followed and though I never had the same experience again, I always feel the strong presence of my Lord Jesus Christ every time I am in those mountains. It is not that I don’t feel His presence in my normal daily life, but it is often difficult to filter out His presence through the distractions of the world. Those distractions do not exist there. Fortunately because of that experience I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that helps me filter out the distractions of the world and reminds me to expect ups and downs, to recognize useless burdens, and to appreciate the divine power of baptism.
